Messing with Perfection

So I was at the store the other day buying some candy. I ran across some crap labeled NEW! Reeses Peanut Butter Cups Carmel!

So I ponied up for a couple packs. And you know what? They sucked. Why do companies insist on changing what is one of the best if not the best candy treat ever devised?

Now Im stuck with 2 packs of this carmel crap.

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

"One of my good friends is leaving for the summer, so I had to hang out with her."

It's a hit!

Just got Mike's right-nut! Jack-pot!

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

"Got really wasted with Cheryl."

(Cheryl is Mike's ex-girlfriend.)

A New Era

So last night we had 2 shows TiVoing at 8pm. I wanted to also record the That 70s SHow reunion thing. I was going to run downstairs and deal with it but instead I thought, "Ill just download it instead"

So I have now reached the point where I will not walk downstairs to tape a show because it will be available on the net.

Industry

Which industry is most deserving of a downturn which benefits consumers.

1. Recording Industry. They made us buy CDs for $15 that included maybe 2 or 3 good songs. Now theyre whining when were buying to good songs for 99 cents and ignoring the crap. I hate the recording industry

2. Energy industry. Adelphia. Enron. All those idiots in California with their rolling blackouts. Is there any group of people that deserve a bigger kick in the ass than these jerkoffs.

3. Oil Industry. Lets see, raise the price of gas over $3 a gallon. In the same freakin quarter report record profits. And at the same time Congress isnt passing legislation aimed at price gouging.

4. Congress. Im convinced that you dont have to be smart to be in COngress, you just have to have no scruples and be able tobe easily manipulated.

5. Professional Sports. For the most part, overpaid, underperforming whiners. Why do we pay attention to these people.

6. Television News. Agenda-laden. Can we have some unbiased outlet for information? Internet is the most unbiased source of information.

7. The Executive Branch of the Government. Talk about a den of thieves. I dont trust any of them.

You know some industries Im happy with?

1. Cable TV. Thats right, In the past one of the most maligned industries. Now my TV always works. I have a fast internet connection. My phone calls come over the net. Theres some very advanced features that actually work. They have really turned it around. Sattellite had something to do with it im sure.

2. Fast food. I go to a fast food location. I ask for food. I get it quickly and at an affordable price. Thats how its supposed to work.

3. P2P. The idiot recording industry has forces me to investigate the possibility of maybe using a P2P network to download some demo music.

3.

Trust Fund

Trust Fund boy is complaining about being bored.

My response is "stop whining or Ill give you something complain about!"

Sam's Club

So I was at Sam's Club recently. Right around lunch time. So I did a couple laps chowing down on the various fried food products available. Even got some yogurt for dessert. My question is, how many times can you go back before they notice and kick you out?

Cartoons

Whats the difference between Merrie Melodies and Looney Toons?

Oggie's Phone Prowess

OG's phone rings. Before the first ring is done he shoots a look at his phone and says, "Send me an email! I hate you!".

He is known for hating phones and hating talking on phones. He turns off my ringer on days that I'm not here.

Lawnmower

After 6 months of rest my lawnmower started on the first pull this spring.

Name Game

Email from Jake The Snake.

Accounts needed on Brutus so far: Rob Laurer

Spelling and Pronounciation

How do you spell the pronounciation of the 8th letter of the alphabet?

Is it "aitch" or "haitch"?

Best of vs Greatest Hits

There should be a law against a band putting out both a "Best of" and a Greatest Hits CD. Arent these things the same? I dont mind a Greatest hits and maybe a Greatest Hits Volume 2. Where no songs overlap.

But look at the Stray Cats, one of my favorite groups. The "Best of" has 10 songs. 8 of them are also on the "Greatest Hits" I mean WTF? And they get pissed at us for downloading?

And I didnt even bring up The Stray Cats - A Retrospective. Only 2 of the 17 songs on G.H. are not on Retrospective.

And are you freakin ready for this? They also had another Greatest Hits CD come out back in 1992, It shares 5 of its 10 songs with the Best of.

Holy crap on a popsicle stick they also has ANOTHER Best of come out in 1990! And Im seeing all the same song names again with just a couple different.

And how about this. 2005. Runaway Hits: The Very Best of the Stray Cats. The VERY Best. Not just the Best. This is the real good stuff that was actually too good for the Best of. Think Stray Cat Strut and Rock This Town are on there?

And it goes on.
2001, Back to the Alley: Best of the Stray Cats
2004 The Very Best of The Stray Cats
2003 The Best of the Stray Cats
1999 The Best of Stray Cats
Heres one, 1996, Stray Cats, Archive. Song #1, Stray Cat Strut.
1997 Best of the Straycats. I assume this one was a foreign bootleg where they werent sure how to spell the band name
2004 Best of Stray Cats - Ultimate Selection. I assume that this is even better than the Very Best.
2002 Extended Versions. This is neither better nor worse that the Best of, Very Best of or Ultimate, its just extended.
2002 Best of the Stray Cats
1998 The Best of the Stray Cats
2003 3CD Box Set!!!! A box set! Finally all the Stary Cats hits in one Boxed Set! This is what we've been waiting for!
But that just wasnt enough,
2004 Very Best of Stray Cats

When will they be coming out with, The Stray Cats, Every Goddamn Song.

Golf

Resist the urge to practice irons in your yard. The correct way to play iron shots is to swing down on the ball. DOing this correctly will take a divot in front of where the ball used to sit. But since its your yard you dont want diviots all over the place. So you unconsiously either dont swing down or you pull up to not take a diviot. Either one actually hurts your swing more than helps it. If you want to practice, go to a range and rip up their lawn. Or visit your in-laws.

J-Code!

Ding! Just had to deal with some DOMINANT J-Code. An important email address was never being saved in an application, which was written some 6 months ago and the customer didn't notice until now. I don't know who is at fault anymore.

Suggestion

When buying your garbage cans, stick to those that rectangular in shape. If you get the round ones they will roll away with the wind. While this is an easy to accumulate garbage cans of your neighbors, it is somewhat awkward using then on subsequent garbage days because your neighbors will say "Hey isnt that my garbage can?" Which will cause one of 3 things to happen.

1. You will tell a foolish and easily disproved lie.
2. You will embarrassingly have to give the garbage can back.
3. You will have to hide in your garage for the rest of your life whenever you see your neighbor outside.

The rectangular ones will not roll away thus saving you time, energy and detective work tracking them down. And tell others to do the same. BOYCOTT ROUND GARBAGE CANS!!

VARCHAR2

Ok co the current limit on the VARCHAR2 is 4000. So when you have a variable amount of text, even if you expect it to one maybe a couple hundred chars long, you usually just sst it at 4000. Just to be sure.

SO what I want to know is lets say the max amount os oh 32000. What is the number you'd set the VARCHAR2 to for your basic field that you dont expect to go over a couple hundred chars but you want to make sure things dont crash. Will you stick at 4000? Use the 32000? Use 255 to maintain some some sort of backasswards Access compatibility?

Todays DONG!

I love when customers do this.
"I looked at my site and when I try to change xxx and it doesnt work. Can you fix it?"

Like the only thing I do all day is sit around and look at that one function in that one web site so I'll be able to go directly to the URL and know what input they are using that causes the error. I have written somewhere around a zillion individual webpages and yes some may have errors in certain unforseen circumstances. But how am I expected to know which one theyre talking about with that cryptic email.

American Trivia

Best/worst answer during American Trivia today: Complete the phrase, "Loose lips...". OG responds with "Loose lips lose wars".