The B's Presidential Endorsements

The B has finally decided to release its endorsements for both the Democratic and Republican parties for the upcoming primary season. While we realize this may significantly alter the polls for Iowa and New Hampshire, we feel as though now is the best time to release this information. Without further adieu:

Dem: We have a tie! Dual endorsement for the tiniest man with the grandest ideas (Kucinich) and the smooth operator who may actually shake up Washington (Obama).

Rep: We're still confident that McCain hasn't abandoned his maverick ideals and really isn't a religious right toadie. So, McCain gets the nod.

Oh Conner

Conner announces as he runs off on vacation: "The B is dead to me!"

Ships Ahoy!

Thar be many a ships out in the ocean today. Come hither for a closer look.

I'm also pissed at DConn for f-ing up the trivia/hoops scores. Let it be known that I dominated the competition with like a 21 score last week.

I just leveled my Pally!

I think that says it all

Swear Jar

So the swear jar has been instituted. In the typical half-arse culture of the B, no rules or guidelines were mentioned. Its pretty much a free for all. So here is a partial list of questions that need to be answered.

- Does one have to be fully in the B to offend or is breaking the plane while standing outside enough. Is it 2 feet in or one foot in?

- What is the list of chargable words?

- Are all words charged at the same rate?

- If words are strung together in a hyphenated way, does that count as a single swear?

- How audible does the swear have to be?

- Is there an intensifier based on loudness or quantity? For example double for the second swear in one sentence or one audible from the hallway?

- Can fines be rescinded based upon creativity, situation causing the curse, people currently in the B or other circumstances?

- Will fines be assessed for typical non-swear word used in a swearing construct. For example using bull-sheet.

- Can anybody assess ad-hoc fines? Possibly the majority of the B ruling on these.

- Will offending odors be similarily taxed?

- Who will write the website to track these fines? .NET? ASP? C#? perl?

- Can we swear while quoting another person? Or telling a joke perhaps? Or reading a web page aloud in the B?

Answers. We need answers.

Blogage Suckage

This blog sucks

Tirvia Tidbits

So you want to play trivia like Gubber. heres a couple of handy hints.

1. When the answer to a question is obviously the name of a state, choose California

2. When the answer is obviously a President, choose FDR.

3. Study up on South America. Paraguay, Peru, Argentina, Columbia. Although Brazil and Ecquador come up less than you'd think.

4. If the question is similar to the form, "How many xxxx did something?" consider zero and one as answers.

5. If the question is of the form How many out of every 5 xxx's did something, do not pick 0 or 5. 1 or 4 is your best bet here.

6. In first position it is not always a good idea to throw out a guess. It may pop a light on in the head of your opponent. In 2nd position, always guess something.

7. The Robbo/Clue rule. If in first position and asked to list items, do not list any until you have the entire list.

8. Ross Perot pops up more than you'd think.

9. In 2nd position guesses at sports questions, its a good idea to go with people obvious in the sport. Hockey - Gretzky, Baseball - Babe Ruth, Basketball - Jordan, Golf - Tiger, Olympics - Jesse Owens.

10. TV and Movie questions. Again, pick obvious choices for the time period of the question.

Proper Toilet/Urinal Etiquette

So I walk into the men's bathroom, and notice an immediate ominous sign. Of the three bathroom stalls available, only the outside two are open, the third in the middle has legs and shoes protruding.

OK, let's break down the possibly outcomes:

1. It's possible Man A walks into an empty bathroom and picks one of the two outside stalls. Then Man B walks into the bathroom, notices one of the three stalls is occupied and proceeds to chose the "right stall", the one furthest from the occupied stall. Now Man C, the afforementioned man, walks in and chose to sandwhich himself between the two men in the occupied stalls. Then both Man A and Man B finish their businees and leave, and I somehow manage to walk into the bathroom while Man C is still in the middle stall. Chance of this happening in this bathroom are maybe 1 in 1000.

2. Now, far more likely there was no Man A or Man B. Man C is simply a middle shitter.

I think we need pass this story and this webpage to all who walk these halls.
Click Here

Ahoy matey!

Harbormaster Dave declares many new ships with large cargos have entered the port of Madison, with many more on the horizon. Long live Madisonian commerce!

Oggie, Bloggie

Well D-Con is now comfortably situated in the B. He's a dependable player of HORSE and knows most of the tobacco and alcohol related trivia questions. He is a solid junior member.

But one cant help but reminisce about the departed Oggie. There has been subtle changes in the B since that dark day in June.

GumSeng has fallen out of favor.

Donuts are more prevelant.

It seems to smell a bit more these days. I dont know if thats the stale hickory smokiness of D-Con or the lackof Oggie's charcoal like ability to absorb and emilinate odors.

Havent seen Tessie in awhile.

While Oggie was known to scream at ringing phones, D-Con aims his profanity laden oubursts at his computer.

Its not better or worse these days. Just different.

2 blog or knot 2 blog....

That is the question. The current level of blogginess is unacceptable. All we do is post horse and trivia scores.

We have to either take it to the next level or abandon it. Since we dont suck I think we aim for the next level. Ok so heres the rules/guidelines.
1. You will submit 3 post per week.
2. All posts must not suck.
3. If you dont post 3 times, you suck.

This counts as a post for this week.

C-Block

Quote of the Day: "These trees are cock-blocking me!" (Referencing the lush trees outside of the B windows.)

Ass Stain

Over the last few days (weeks? months?) there has been a lingering odor in the B. Kind of an assy odor if you will. We (and by "we" I mean "I") have narrowed down the source of the ass odor to my chair. It has been scent stained by repeated ass dropping. Has this EVER happened before in the history of the world?

I brought some Febreze in and plan on soaking the chair before I leave today. Check back on Monday for the results.

Old People Shed

So Big B comes into The B today after giving a farewell hug to an outgoing member of senior management. This outgoing member of senior management, let's call her "Mannie Astunden", left a few, well, more than a few, of her golden locks on Big B.

Big B proceeds to pluck the hairs off and lay them ever so gently on D-Conn, who doesn't appreciate it.

Good times in The B.

Sucks

This Blog sucks.

My BIOS had been Alerted!

Comstock:
So a few weeks ago I start learning .net. Turns out that visual studio has code-compete stuff build in, so I’m just typing in random letters (it’s how I code) to see what .net has. Somehow I come up with Console.Beep(). Huh...wonder what that does. So I save the page, load it, and my computer beeps through the internal speaker. Interesting... So the next day I tell Oggie, Derek, and Rob about the discovery. Didn’t get much of a response... Later talking to Derek we decide to put it on seeker and see what happens....sure enough seeker beeps. So Derek makes a little form to control the number of beeps and the pause between them. For the next few days (about....4) whenever rob goes near seeker, seeker beeps a seemingly random number of times. He doesn’t even have to touch seeker...just go near it. strange, rob thinks... soon rob begins to think that there is some kind of hardware error happening on seeker. He checks all the logs...runs some diagnostics...nothing. Huh....

Conner:
...so this is where I come in. Being the good-natured trickster I am, I decide to get in on the action. Simple beeps were, well, too simple. In C# not only can you control duration but the frequency of the beep. So I go searching on the web to find sheet music for "Mary Had A Little Lamb." and the frequency in Hz of musical notes. After spending a few minutes of transposing musical notes for frequencies, I wrote a small C# app that would play the song on Seeker.
Needless to say Rob was stumped. Seeker had stopped sending simple beeps and started spitting out music! "It has to be some kind of built-in BIOs alert Dell put in there," Lauer says. Tired of stifling a massive laughing outburst, we finally conceded to Rob that we were behind it all along. Rob took it with a grain of salt saying, "Conner, you're a little biatch."

Sorry Robbo, but Seeker Had a Little Lamb.

Bye Oggie

Before we close another chapter in the B with Oggie's departure, we must now look back at some of the OG-related highlights of the last few years. I apologize in advance for the inside-joke nature of these for our non-B readers:

1. "Oh, oh, I just stubbed my toe". This is after Robbo pegged Oggie in the nuts with a hacky sack while Oggie was on the phone with a customer.

2. "Guys, this is real bad. I forgot my socks."

3. The Ducks. Never forget the baby ducks.

4. Vegas.

5. DoD, CS, and HL2 hax0r!ng.

We will also miss his political and religious rants, .Net domination, distaste for phone calls, and unquenchable appetite for the UW-Madison coeds.

The "Bigger" Problem

Unfortunately that's all we can say about that. But it sure was funny.

The Final Horse

OGMO's final HORSE w/ Robbo & Gubber. OGMO out first, Robbo second. Gubber takes it.

Now it's up to Smokey.

Nightmares

So you know when you have a mightmare. Its usually at like 2:30 or 3am. When its all dark and quiet.

I was awoke by a terrifying nightmare last night (although I cant remember what it was) and when I looked over at the clock it said 9:30.