Swear Jar

So the swear jar has been instituted. In the typical half-arse culture of the B, no rules or guidelines were mentioned. Its pretty much a free for all. So here is a partial list of questions that need to be answered.

- Does one have to be fully in the B to offend or is breaking the plane while standing outside enough. Is it 2 feet in or one foot in?

- What is the list of chargable words?

- Are all words charged at the same rate?

- If words are strung together in a hyphenated way, does that count as a single swear?

- How audible does the swear have to be?

- Is there an intensifier based on loudness or quantity? For example double for the second swear in one sentence or one audible from the hallway?

- Can fines be rescinded based upon creativity, situation causing the curse, people currently in the B or other circumstances?

- Will fines be assessed for typical non-swear word used in a swearing construct. For example using bull-sheet.

- Can anybody assess ad-hoc fines? Possibly the majority of the B ruling on these.

- Will offending odors be similarily taxed?

- Who will write the website to track these fines? .NET? ASP? C#? perl?

- Can we swear while quoting another person? Or telling a joke perhaps? Or reading a web page aloud in the B?

Answers. We need answers.

Blogage Suckage

This blog sucks

Tirvia Tidbits

So you want to play trivia like Gubber. heres a couple of handy hints.

1. When the answer to a question is obviously the name of a state, choose California

2. When the answer is obviously a President, choose FDR.

3. Study up on South America. Paraguay, Peru, Argentina, Columbia. Although Brazil and Ecquador come up less than you'd think.

4. If the question is similar to the form, "How many xxxx did something?" consider zero and one as answers.

5. If the question is of the form How many out of every 5 xxx's did something, do not pick 0 or 5. 1 or 4 is your best bet here.

6. In first position it is not always a good idea to throw out a guess. It may pop a light on in the head of your opponent. In 2nd position, always guess something.

7. The Robbo/Clue rule. If in first position and asked to list items, do not list any until you have the entire list.

8. Ross Perot pops up more than you'd think.

9. In 2nd position guesses at sports questions, its a good idea to go with people obvious in the sport. Hockey - Gretzky, Baseball - Babe Ruth, Basketball - Jordan, Golf - Tiger, Olympics - Jesse Owens.

10. TV and Movie questions. Again, pick obvious choices for the time period of the question.

Proper Toilet/Urinal Etiquette

So I walk into the men's bathroom, and notice an immediate ominous sign. Of the three bathroom stalls available, only the outside two are open, the third in the middle has legs and shoes protruding.

OK, let's break down the possibly outcomes:

1. It's possible Man A walks into an empty bathroom and picks one of the two outside stalls. Then Man B walks into the bathroom, notices one of the three stalls is occupied and proceeds to chose the "right stall", the one furthest from the occupied stall. Now Man C, the afforementioned man, walks in and chose to sandwhich himself between the two men in the occupied stalls. Then both Man A and Man B finish their businees and leave, and I somehow manage to walk into the bathroom while Man C is still in the middle stall. Chance of this happening in this bathroom are maybe 1 in 1000.

2. Now, far more likely there was no Man A or Man B. Man C is simply a middle shitter.

I think we need pass this story and this webpage to all who walk these halls.
Click Here

Ahoy matey!

Harbormaster Dave declares many new ships with large cargos have entered the port of Madison, with many more on the horizon. Long live Madisonian commerce!

Oggie, Bloggie

Well D-Con is now comfortably situated in the B. He's a dependable player of HORSE and knows most of the tobacco and alcohol related trivia questions. He is a solid junior member.

But one cant help but reminisce about the departed Oggie. There has been subtle changes in the B since that dark day in June.

GumSeng has fallen out of favor.

Donuts are more prevelant.

It seems to smell a bit more these days. I dont know if thats the stale hickory smokiness of D-Con or the lackof Oggie's charcoal like ability to absorb and emilinate odors.

Havent seen Tessie in awhile.

While Oggie was known to scream at ringing phones, D-Con aims his profanity laden oubursts at his computer.

Its not better or worse these days. Just different.

2 blog or knot 2 blog....

That is the question. The current level of blogginess is unacceptable. All we do is post horse and trivia scores.

We have to either take it to the next level or abandon it. Since we dont suck I think we aim for the next level. Ok so heres the rules/guidelines.
1. You will submit 3 post per week.
2. All posts must not suck.
3. If you dont post 3 times, you suck.

This counts as a post for this week.

C-Block

Quote of the Day: "These trees are cock-blocking me!" (Referencing the lush trees outside of the B windows.)

Ass Stain

Over the last few days (weeks? months?) there has been a lingering odor in the B. Kind of an assy odor if you will. We (and by "we" I mean "I") have narrowed down the source of the ass odor to my chair. It has been scent stained by repeated ass dropping. Has this EVER happened before in the history of the world?

I brought some Febreze in and plan on soaking the chair before I leave today. Check back on Monday for the results.

Old People Shed

So Big B comes into The B today after giving a farewell hug to an outgoing member of senior management. This outgoing member of senior management, let's call her "Mannie Astunden", left a few, well, more than a few, of her golden locks on Big B.

Big B proceeds to pluck the hairs off and lay them ever so gently on D-Conn, who doesn't appreciate it.

Good times in The B.

Sucks

This Blog sucks.

My BIOS had been Alerted!

Comstock:
So a few weeks ago I start learning .net. Turns out that visual studio has code-compete stuff build in, so I’m just typing in random letters (it’s how I code) to see what .net has. Somehow I come up with Console.Beep(). Huh...wonder what that does. So I save the page, load it, and my computer beeps through the internal speaker. Interesting... So the next day I tell Oggie, Derek, and Rob about the discovery. Didn’t get much of a response... Later talking to Derek we decide to put it on seeker and see what happens....sure enough seeker beeps. So Derek makes a little form to control the number of beeps and the pause between them. For the next few days (about....4) whenever rob goes near seeker, seeker beeps a seemingly random number of times. He doesn’t even have to touch seeker...just go near it. strange, rob thinks... soon rob begins to think that there is some kind of hardware error happening on seeker. He checks all the logs...runs some diagnostics...nothing. Huh....

Conner:
...so this is where I come in. Being the good-natured trickster I am, I decide to get in on the action. Simple beeps were, well, too simple. In C# not only can you control duration but the frequency of the beep. So I go searching on the web to find sheet music for "Mary Had A Little Lamb." and the frequency in Hz of musical notes. After spending a few minutes of transposing musical notes for frequencies, I wrote a small C# app that would play the song on Seeker.
Needless to say Rob was stumped. Seeker had stopped sending simple beeps and started spitting out music! "It has to be some kind of built-in BIOs alert Dell put in there," Lauer says. Tired of stifling a massive laughing outburst, we finally conceded to Rob that we were behind it all along. Rob took it with a grain of salt saying, "Conner, you're a little biatch."

Sorry Robbo, but Seeker Had a Little Lamb.

Bye Oggie

Before we close another chapter in the B with Oggie's departure, we must now look back at some of the OG-related highlights of the last few years. I apologize in advance for the inside-joke nature of these for our non-B readers:

1. "Oh, oh, I just stubbed my toe". This is after Robbo pegged Oggie in the nuts with a hacky sack while Oggie was on the phone with a customer.

2. "Guys, this is real bad. I forgot my socks."

3. The Ducks. Never forget the baby ducks.

4. Vegas.

5. DoD, CS, and HL2 hax0r!ng.

We will also miss his political and religious rants, .Net domination, distaste for phone calls, and unquenchable appetite for the UW-Madison coeds.

The "Bigger" Problem

Unfortunately that's all we can say about that. But it sure was funny.

The Final Horse

OGMO's final HORSE w/ Robbo & Gubber. OGMO out first, Robbo second. Gubber takes it.

Now it's up to Smokey.

Nightmares

So you know when you have a mightmare. Its usually at like 2:30 or 3am. When its all dark and quiet.

I was awoke by a terrifying nightmare last night (although I cant remember what it was) and when I looked over at the clock it said 9:30.

Shit is Fucked

02:14PM Gubber: ga
02:15PM Gubber: is shit fucked over there?
02:19PM Robbo: shit is fucked
02:19PM Gubber: cbs is down
02:19PM Gubber: shit is fucked
02:19PM Gubber: thats an awesome line
02:19PM Robbo: oggie can't log in
02:19PM Gubber: hey rob, shit is fucked
02:19PM Gubber: tell Og that "shit is fucked"
02:19PM Robbo: shit IS fucked
02:20PM Robbo: done
02:20PM Robbo: doit is fucked: http://helpdesk.doit.wisc.edu/outage.php
02:20PM Robbo: PHP error. sweet action
02:20PM Gubber: their shit is fucked
02:21PM Gubber: From (name removed)...
02:21PM Gubber: Just thought you might want to know, the network is down. Just happened.
02:21PM Gubber: thanks for the alert (name removed). even though it's wrong
02:22PM Robbo: (name removed) is brilliant
02:22PM Gubber: the network isnt down. if it was how would you send an email
02:22PM Robbo: like a child
02:22PM Gubber: duh?????
02:22PM Gubber: the basic problem is that shit is fucked
02:22PM Robbo: your phone is ringing...
02:22PM Gubber: and she refuses to turn off her email alert flag
02:22PM Robbo: someone is calling to tell you their shit is fucked
02:33PM Gubber: i think shit is still fucked
02:37PM Robbo: can i blog this?

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

"Had to shave my balls because it's getting too hot out."

New Distance Record!

We have a new long distance shot record, 24' 2" by Robbo this AM. Made on the first attempt! Oggie will now spend the rest of the day trying to beat it.

Mike's Late Excuse for the Day

"Rob said last week he didn't care. Rob said that 'if I'm not working for him, and I get my shit done, then he doesn't care when I come in.'"

(Arrival time today, between 11:30-noon.)

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

Right hand cramped up. Had to switch to left... it took a bit longer.

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

"I didn't get back from MN until like 2."

Messing with Perfection

So I was at the store the other day buying some candy. I ran across some crap labeled NEW! Reeses Peanut Butter Cups Carmel!

So I ponied up for a couple packs. And you know what? They sucked. Why do companies insist on changing what is one of the best if not the best candy treat ever devised?

Now Im stuck with 2 packs of this carmel crap.

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

"One of my good friends is leaving for the summer, so I had to hang out with her."

It's a hit!

Just got Mike's right-nut! Jack-pot!

Mike's Late Excuse of the Day

"Got really wasted with Cheryl."

(Cheryl is Mike's ex-girlfriend.)

A New Era

So last night we had 2 shows TiVoing at 8pm. I wanted to also record the That 70s SHow reunion thing. I was going to run downstairs and deal with it but instead I thought, "Ill just download it instead"

So I have now reached the point where I will not walk downstairs to tape a show because it will be available on the net.

Industry

Which industry is most deserving of a downturn which benefits consumers.

1. Recording Industry. They made us buy CDs for $15 that included maybe 2 or 3 good songs. Now theyre whining when were buying to good songs for 99 cents and ignoring the crap. I hate the recording industry

2. Energy industry. Adelphia. Enron. All those idiots in California with their rolling blackouts. Is there any group of people that deserve a bigger kick in the ass than these jerkoffs.

3. Oil Industry. Lets see, raise the price of gas over $3 a gallon. In the same freakin quarter report record profits. And at the same time Congress isnt passing legislation aimed at price gouging.

4. Congress. Im convinced that you dont have to be smart to be in COngress, you just have to have no scruples and be able tobe easily manipulated.

5. Professional Sports. For the most part, overpaid, underperforming whiners. Why do we pay attention to these people.

6. Television News. Agenda-laden. Can we have some unbiased outlet for information? Internet is the most unbiased source of information.

7. The Executive Branch of the Government. Talk about a den of thieves. I dont trust any of them.

You know some industries Im happy with?

1. Cable TV. Thats right, In the past one of the most maligned industries. Now my TV always works. I have a fast internet connection. My phone calls come over the net. Theres some very advanced features that actually work. They have really turned it around. Sattellite had something to do with it im sure.

2. Fast food. I go to a fast food location. I ask for food. I get it quickly and at an affordable price. Thats how its supposed to work.

3. P2P. The idiot recording industry has forces me to investigate the possibility of maybe using a P2P network to download some demo music.

3.

Trust Fund

Trust Fund boy is complaining about being bored.

My response is "stop whining or Ill give you something complain about!"

Sam's Club

So I was at Sam's Club recently. Right around lunch time. So I did a couple laps chowing down on the various fried food products available. Even got some yogurt for dessert. My question is, how many times can you go back before they notice and kick you out?

Cartoons

Whats the difference between Merrie Melodies and Looney Toons?

Oggie's Phone Prowess

OG's phone rings. Before the first ring is done he shoots a look at his phone and says, "Send me an email! I hate you!".

He is known for hating phones and hating talking on phones. He turns off my ringer on days that I'm not here.

Lawnmower

After 6 months of rest my lawnmower started on the first pull this spring.

Name Game

Email from Jake The Snake.

Accounts needed on Brutus so far: Rob Laurer

Spelling and Pronounciation

How do you spell the pronounciation of the 8th letter of the alphabet?

Is it "aitch" or "haitch"?

Best of vs Greatest Hits

There should be a law against a band putting out both a "Best of" and a Greatest Hits CD. Arent these things the same? I dont mind a Greatest hits and maybe a Greatest Hits Volume 2. Where no songs overlap.

But look at the Stray Cats, one of my favorite groups. The "Best of" has 10 songs. 8 of them are also on the "Greatest Hits" I mean WTF? And they get pissed at us for downloading?

And I didnt even bring up The Stray Cats - A Retrospective. Only 2 of the 17 songs on G.H. are not on Retrospective.

And are you freakin ready for this? They also had another Greatest Hits CD come out back in 1992, It shares 5 of its 10 songs with the Best of.

Holy crap on a popsicle stick they also has ANOTHER Best of come out in 1990! And Im seeing all the same song names again with just a couple different.

And how about this. 2005. Runaway Hits: The Very Best of the Stray Cats. The VERY Best. Not just the Best. This is the real good stuff that was actually too good for the Best of. Think Stray Cat Strut and Rock This Town are on there?

And it goes on.
2001, Back to the Alley: Best of the Stray Cats
2004 The Very Best of The Stray Cats
2003 The Best of the Stray Cats
1999 The Best of Stray Cats
Heres one, 1996, Stray Cats, Archive. Song #1, Stray Cat Strut.
1997 Best of the Straycats. I assume this one was a foreign bootleg where they werent sure how to spell the band name
2004 Best of Stray Cats - Ultimate Selection. I assume that this is even better than the Very Best.
2002 Extended Versions. This is neither better nor worse that the Best of, Very Best of or Ultimate, its just extended.
2002 Best of the Stray Cats
1998 The Best of the Stray Cats
2003 3CD Box Set!!!! A box set! Finally all the Stary Cats hits in one Boxed Set! This is what we've been waiting for!
But that just wasnt enough,
2004 Very Best of Stray Cats

When will they be coming out with, The Stray Cats, Every Goddamn Song.

Golf

Resist the urge to practice irons in your yard. The correct way to play iron shots is to swing down on the ball. DOing this correctly will take a divot in front of where the ball used to sit. But since its your yard you dont want diviots all over the place. So you unconsiously either dont swing down or you pull up to not take a diviot. Either one actually hurts your swing more than helps it. If you want to practice, go to a range and rip up their lawn. Or visit your in-laws.

J-Code!

Ding! Just had to deal with some DOMINANT J-Code. An important email address was never being saved in an application, which was written some 6 months ago and the customer didn't notice until now. I don't know who is at fault anymore.

Suggestion

When buying your garbage cans, stick to those that rectangular in shape. If you get the round ones they will roll away with the wind. While this is an easy to accumulate garbage cans of your neighbors, it is somewhat awkward using then on subsequent garbage days because your neighbors will say "Hey isnt that my garbage can?" Which will cause one of 3 things to happen.

1. You will tell a foolish and easily disproved lie.
2. You will embarrassingly have to give the garbage can back.
3. You will have to hide in your garage for the rest of your life whenever you see your neighbor outside.

The rectangular ones will not roll away thus saving you time, energy and detective work tracking them down. And tell others to do the same. BOYCOTT ROUND GARBAGE CANS!!

VARCHAR2

Ok co the current limit on the VARCHAR2 is 4000. So when you have a variable amount of text, even if you expect it to one maybe a couple hundred chars long, you usually just sst it at 4000. Just to be sure.

SO what I want to know is lets say the max amount os oh 32000. What is the number you'd set the VARCHAR2 to for your basic field that you dont expect to go over a couple hundred chars but you want to make sure things dont crash. Will you stick at 4000? Use the 32000? Use 255 to maintain some some sort of backasswards Access compatibility?

Todays DONG!

I love when customers do this.
"I looked at my site and when I try to change xxx and it doesnt work. Can you fix it?"

Like the only thing I do all day is sit around and look at that one function in that one web site so I'll be able to go directly to the URL and know what input they are using that causes the error. I have written somewhere around a zillion individual webpages and yes some may have errors in certain unforseen circumstances. But how am I expected to know which one theyre talking about with that cryptic email.

American Trivia

Best/worst answer during American Trivia today: Complete the phrase, "Loose lips...". OG responds with "Loose lips lose wars".

More Naming Conventions...

From a customer...

"I talked with Jim Busby earlier today..."

Spelling

It is impossible to spell "convenient" correctly on your first attempt.

Personel Inquiries

Often during the day, people pop into the office, or IM me, asking where someone is. I usually don't mind this, but it can get tiresome. For analytical reasons, I've decided to record these inquiries for the duration of the week:

Monday, 1:30 PM - P&T come in looking for Robbo
Monday, 2:05 PM - B instant messages me "Hey Og, do you know if Rob will be back in today?"
Monday, 2:31 PM - M asks "Where's Robbo at?"
Monday, 3:28 PM - Anon asks "Is this guy ever in?" while pointing at BIG!'s office

Last Wednesday

The 19th will be my last Wednesday until fall. I will begin coming in on Tuesdays starting the the week of April 25th. ALthough I will kiss Wednesdays I am excited for the upcoming Tuesdays. WIth Tuesdays of course comes the potential for the rebirth of the traditional Taco Tuesdays from The Taco Johns on Regent. My standard order will be 4 hardshells with sourcreme and a ole's. I will also require 4 packets of mild and 4 packets of hot sauce.

Injury

I think I hurt my left wrist golfing. Thing is it doesnt hurt when I swing a golf club. Just when Im typing and stuff.

POP vs POS

One's good one's bad. You figure it out.

Wednesday

Im looking forward tobeing in the office tomorrow. A couple of non-B meetings but there should be plenty time for a meeting about the "world", or maybe a meeting about some "trivia"l admin work we need to do, or even possible about growing out own "horse"radish garden.

The biggest concern continues to be lunch. Gummer? Pizza? We could even celebrate the nice weather with tacos.

DONG!!!!!

A DONG!!! signifies a misguided customer alert. I got a big huge DONG today. Somebody tried to do something we expressedly said wouldnt work and then complained when it didnt work.

My New Band

Im starting a new band. Im gonna call it "Cram It". We will be a multi-genre group. Genres we support include but are not limited to:
Rock
Country
(c)Rap
Country-Rock
Top 40
Top 50
Flamenco
Ragtime
World Music
USA Music
Babershop
Chamber Music
Firm Music
Raggae

Can anybody play any instruments?

More Bloggin....

I think we need more useless blog entries. I will starting blogging more of my everyday thoughts, questions and aspirations

The Fridge (Photo)

And here's a photo of the new fridge...

The Fridge

So we have a new fridge. After numerous soda explosions and generally faulty operation, we finally decided to get rid of our old fridge. Robbo took donations and Poles worked the Craigslist angle to get us a great deal.

Last week we moved the new fridge in and unplugged the old one. While it was already a disgusting mess, the past few days haven't been good to it. Today the movers came to get rid of it, and as they carted it down the hallway, the fridge slowly leaked it's smelly water. Now, the entire hallway smells undescribably awful. I overheard some people down the hall talking about it... luckily the B has a one room buffer, so we're safe (I hope).

I'm concerned the hallway does not have sufficient ventilation to remove the smell. It could be with us for days.

UPDATE - the building manager is mopping up the stink! I'll go investigate and see if it remains....

UPDATE - the stink has been reduced, but is still noticeable...

Things that piss me off....

Ok Im at Piggly Wiggly this morning. I have under 12 items. This means I am allowed to go in the 12 items or less line, also known as the EXPRESS line. This line is the FAST line. People who have just a couple htings use this line to pay for their purchase.

So tell me why they put the 102 year old checker who still doesnt know how to use the built-in scale and has to have a conversaiton with each person buying stuff. Look I want to get in and out. Give me the fastest most unfriendly person in the epxress lane. Move'em in and move'em out.

The B Blog

The B Blog

Big News!

The Truce is OFF!

Decoration

I was sitting in a chair that I usually dont sit in today. It doesnt face the TV so it doesnt really get any work. My wife and I (Hi Honey!) were having a general conversation. I looked at this table to the right of me. On it was this metal collandar type thing (like what you use to strain the spaghetti) It was filled with pine cones.

So I have a bowl of pinecones in my house. Im betting that it has been there for well over 3 months and this is the first time Ive noticed it. If you sit on the couch its probably 2 inches from your direct siteline when you watch TV. Im pretty much oblivious to my surroundings.

Ducks

Always remember the ducks.

Best Crazy Captain

Humphrey Bogart in The Caine Mutiny or James Cagney in Mister Roberts?

You Know What I Don't Understand?

People (and by people I mean couples) who share an email address. Like "toddandsue@charter.net". WTF? Can someone explain this to me?

DING!!! (semi)

While I didnt have to deal with actualy J-code, I did have to talk to a J-customer. It was worthy of a DING!

That's What OG Said

We're repairing the hoop and OG says, "I need something thicker". So you know what I said.

Upcoming Schedule Change

Starting on May 1st I will be scheduled to come into the office on Tuesdays instead of Wednesdays. I play softball Tuesday night and that sometimes goes late so Wednesday mornings could be difficult.

So mark your calendars, Tuesday In, Wednesday Out. Starting May 1st.

I am scheduled to resume the winter schedule starting in September.

Wednesday!

I will be in the office tomorrow!!! I am psyched. I do have a whole set of meetings though. So we will have to plan events accordingly.

Middleton.

steers and queers baby!

Three Six-Bangers from the Five-Spot in Two Days

New news from Around-the-World land: Oggie hit the first six-banger from the five-spot yesterday and then this morning Robbo hits his first as well. After these two substantial hurdles were cleared, Comstock comes in this afternoon for his 2nd ever game of ATW. He gets to the six spot with only four points but manages to pull of the six-banger for a grand total of 10 (a new high for him)! He has potential.

The four-spot remains unconquered.

Naming Conventions....

Just had a customer who wrote this in an email...

I just spoke with Rob Lower....


Lower. Rob Lower! Or perhaps more accurately, Ron Lower.

And When I Say "We" I Mean...

When is it appropriate to use the term "we" when discussing a sports team, i.e. "we really need to recruit a good point guard for next year"? Some might argue that it is never appropriate, you're not playing on the damn team, so stop identifying yourself as a member. On the other hand, if you're a fan at the game, one could argue that you contribute to the morale of the team by cheering for them. Discuss.

The B Coaching Equivalents

It's NCAA tourney time, and with BIG! gone, there is no reason not to waste time by coming up with current & past B members' college basketball coach equivalents. (Ogden will think this is lame.)

Gubber Ga --> Tubby Smith. Cause he's tubby. Rick Majerus also a possibility. Although we should reserve Majerus for Tessie.

Og --> Bruce Pearl. Quickly ascended the ranks, but he's a climber, never happy where he is and always looking for that next big opportunity.

Robbo --> Steve Alford. Started at home (Indiana/Madison) went away for awhile (SW Missouri State and Iowa/New York) and triumphiantly returned (Indiana/Madison).

BIG! --> Dean Smith. He was a figurehead while Bill Guthridge did the real coaching.

Jeffers --> Stan Van Gundy. He struggled in the college system, but flourished once he left.

Bunny --> Dick Bennett. A reverse-climber. Toiled in the mid-majors for years, eventually catching his big break at Madison. Left Madison early, only to end up at a lesser institution.

Guy-Train --> Jerry Tarkanian. Guy was not an organic B'er. He kind of got shoved in there. His lifestyle and work method, although perfectly acceptable, didnt quite mesh with the B. Somebody who has his own way of doing things. And has short or no hair. Can only be the Shark.

DING!!

Big dinger this morning with the HR site.

Another Great Day in B History

The day we discovered that Penpek could smell our gas in his office. This is amazing because his office is like 100+ feet from ours, so the gaseous fumes had to travel via the ventilation shafts. Good times!

IM Fun

I think interesting IM conversations should be blogged.....

blbusby2000: any chance that Dana Reeve's lung cancer was caused by exposure to kryptonite?

dustyga: i think kryptonite helps lung cancer.
dustyga: once Superman died, she no longer had the access.

blbusby2000: it is a known carcinogen
blbusby2000: didn't Marlon Brando die of lung cancer?

dustyga: lets assume he did

blbusby2000: for the sake of proving our argument - yes
blbusby2000: and Gene Hackman definitely died of lung cancer
blbusby2000: what's the common thread?
blbusby2000: a little green element called kryptonite

dustyga: richard pryor

blbusby2000: oh yeah - his lungs were kidney beans when he died

dustyga: multipe sclorosis but Lung cancer was a contributing factor
dustyga: Margot Kidder is screwed

blbusby2000: she already had the mental meltdown - that's a clinically proven precursor to lung cancer

dustyga: yes. everyone knows that
dustyga: Dean Cain didnt die but his career did.

blbusby2000: of lung cancer

Ok, I'll say it....

I know its not what the cool kids think, but I like meatloaf. Mrs. Gubber made one last night and it was just awesome. She puts this sugary, BBQ topping on it. Its 10:44 am and Ive already warmed up 2 platefuls. Sure you probably wouldnt order it in a restaurant when more popular dishes are around, but its a homemade staple. Plus its fun to say "loaf"

Nut Truce

Ogmo and Robbo have declared a nut-hitting-truce (literally) in The B. It is so declared that from March 3rd, 2006, until a date and time mutually agreed upon by Ogmo and Robbo, there will be no nuts hit by flying balls or other projectiles. However, all other non-B persons' units are not under such protection.

Best Office Location

Ok so Im trying to decide what the best office location (BOL) is in DoIT. Im thinking the B just might be the winner. Consider....

- 2 full walls of windows. 3rd and 4th floor in our bldg just has those tall, skinny slit-like windows. Same for 3rd in the other building. Not sure about the 2nd though.

- Corner office. Speaks for itself.

- low enough that we could conceivable leap from the window in case of emergency.

These 3 facts alone limit the possible BOL to the corner offices of the 2nd floor in units 1 and 2. I think we can eliminate all of Research Park as it is cubeville and obviousy not in the running. As an aside, can you imaging us out at RP? Its funny and scary all at once.

I believe there is a concrete pole running through the corner offices in the other building. I know there was when I was in 3108 years ago. If you think about the HR dept on 2nd floor of unit 1 Im pretty sure the windows are the slit type. This eliminates them from consideration as one cannot see very much or jump out of one.

So we're down to 3 possibilities. The B (SW corner) The NW Cormer where Layde is and the SE corner which houses some mystery people.

Examine closer

- SE Corner. Only get to see people waling down Dayton or entering the building. So theres a more limited people watching situation.
- NW Corner. Get to see the people walking through the Union South CS walkway from one window but the other faces Unit 3.
- SE Corner is above a classroom so no jumping allowed
- NW Corner is right next to the dumper. In extreme cases this is a plus but in the general scenario a definate minus

I think thats conclusive. The B is the best office location in DoIT. Which is fitting considering the poeple that inhabit it.

DING!!!

Im going to ring the bell every time I have to deal with J-Code. I think you know what I mean.

So DING!

Insurance

Ogmo believes that since Gubber lives so far from the office, DoIT pays for his insurance.

Odiferous

Ron, you stinky, stinky man.

Name Game

Just had a customer say, "Im going to try to contact Brian Bizbee or however you pronounce it"

The B Blog

My machine crashed again. I think the hard drive is somehow semi-hosed. The tech wizards are cloning it now so I dont have to completely re-setup a new machine. Meanwhile im in the server closet answering email using the wiscmail.wisc.edu site. Its nice and cozy in here.

Nut Rules

Nut shots are allowed (encouraged) in the B. Here are the rules:

• While in the B, your balls are fair game
• No ball shots while shooting baskets
• The ball must be thrown from within the B
• Gubber may not be targeted
• The object thrown must be a ball
• You are allowed to shield yourself in any manner

If you do happen to get hit, you should take it like a man.

Introducing Speedy Suite™

Today we are happy to announce the Speedy Suite™ Business Management Package. Everything you need manage your organization quickly, efficiently, and just plain betterly.

Speedy Suite™ began as the brainchild of BIG! after countless slow and ineffective meetings. His frustration with these daily diversions inspired him to create our flagship product, Speedy Meeting.

What is Speedy Meeting?

• No small talk
• Everyone comes prepared
• Quickly decide on action-items
• Get outta there!

Unfortunately, not every meeting is a good candidate for Speedy Meeting. To have an effective speedy meeting, there are some prerequisites:

• No stupid people
• Shut the f*** up

And now we are especially happy to announce the full suite of Speedy products. These include:

• Speedy Corporate Party
• Speedy Hire
• Speedy Fire
• Speedy Budget

We hope you effectively leverage the Speedy Suite™ to minimize interactions with coworkers and maximize your business potential. In the coming days, we plan on including more details on a variety of Speedy techniques.

Scoreboard

Back in the day, the B was known for its rousing games of "around the world", tip horse, straight-up horse, bennis, and dodgeball. The final view of our scoreboard is available below. There are probably two years worth of scores here. I'll try to explain the sections (starting in the upper left corner):

• B vs. W -> Bunny vs World in HORSE. Woooooorrlllld dominated Bunny.
• R B O -> Score of the most recently played HORSE competition between Robbo, Bunny, and Ogden. That's Ogden Kent.
• The drawing with the basket in the center shows how many people had perfect scores from each "around the world" spot in the office.
• J vs R -> Jeffers vs Robbo. The original HORSE competition. That's a lot of games.
• (Next row)
• B vs J vs R (and the one below it). No idea, someone is going to have to remind me.
• B vs J vs R (tip). Bunny vs Jeffers vs Robbo in tip horse.
• All time highs, lows, and off-hand highs in "around the world". Dre came in one day and hit a 12. Pretty awesome for not practicing.
• R vs B vs O. Pretty pathetic. Robbo vs Bunny vs Ogden in horse I assume. A sign of the end of the fun in the B.

If you look closely you'll find other goodies hidden on the board. Enjoy!

In-Law Update

The check has been cashed.

Basketball/Trivia Scoring

To reduce the number of postings for trivia and basketball scores, I propose we create a new thread and post all scores as comments. We might as well begin with this very thread. I will post a permanent link to this post on the right-hand menu so we can always find it.

Mornings Competitions

Gubs won in Music trivia, 15-2-2.

Robbo beat Gubs in H-O-R-S-E (H-O-R-S-E to H-O-R-S)

Multiple Around the world runds occured.

Official Cartoon of the B

I hereby nominate Aqua Teen Hunger Force to be the Official Cartoon of the B. Its just a strange off the wal cartoon on Adult Swim. I find it fascinating and very humorous in all its stupidity.

Badger Time!!

Im a rare convergence of events, the Wisconsin Badger Hockey team and Basketball team played at the same time, 3pm. Even better, both games are on TV. So I have the left half of my 65" Mitsubishi tuned to the Hockey game and the right half tuned to the Basketball game. This is how sports is meant to be watched.

I hate the Olympics

I hate the Olympics. And for the next 2 weeks we're gonna get it jambed down our guttlets. Ya know what the problem is with the Olympics. Well Im gonna tell ya.

1. Theres too many events that masquerade as sports. Any event where the winner is decided by a group of people who are not involved with the event is not a sport. Its more like the Academy Awards. The motto of the Olympics is Citius, Altius, Fortius. Latin for Faster, Higher, Stronger. 8 judges ranking a performance on a 0 to 6 scale has nothing to do with faster, higher, stronger.

Any event that is not decided on the field of play by one of faster, higher, sdtronger should immediatly be eliminated.

2. Too many events in the Olympics do not determine the "best in the world" The winner of an Olymipc event should be the best person/team in the world. The Olympics is not a tournament. The best hockey in the world is played in the NHL. I can understand the desire to fight for nationalistic pride and Im all for that but throwing a team together to play for 2 weeks just doesnt lend itself to top notch hockey.

Any event that doesnt determine the best in the world should be eliminated.

3. Events are chosen more for television appeal than actual competitive interest. Take speed skating. Now here we have a real citius event. People love it. Theres no judging involved. So what do they go and do. They invent Short Track Speed Skating. Have you ever watched this abomination. about 75 percent of the time theres a crash at some point and then the judges get involved and decide who wins. Why cant they just leave a classic event alone.

Any event which is a latter day knock off of a classic event should be eliminated.

Lets look at the sports
1. Alpine Skiing. Good sport. Start here. End here. Fastest one wins.
2. Biathlon. One of those sports that suffers because stupid events get too much coverage. Skiing and shooting. A real test.
3. Bobsled. Another citius sport. But I question whether the participants need to be world class athletes.
4. Curling. This isnt so much a citius, altius, fortius sport, but its a more cerebral game that requires a certain touch. Its becoming more popular. Youll see it on TV this Olympiad
5. Figure Skating. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Not a sport. The event pretty much depends on young girls sacrificing their childhood to spend all their time skating. And really, who cares about skating. I mean if you dont have a stick in your hand going after a piece of vulcanized rubber its a waste of time. I HATE FIGURE SKATING.
6. Ice Hockey. Now heres a sport. But it shouldnt be in the Olympics. Pro hockey is too big to fit in the Olympics.
7. Freestyle skiing. Another stupid sport. I cant believe they took a cool sport like downhill skiing and screwed it up with this dance element. Just stupid.
8. Nordic Combined. This is a little much. They took different types of skiing and jambed them together to make a new event. "People like skiing, but we dont have any new events. Lets combine the events we have and call them a new event"
9. Short track speed skating. An embarrassment.
10. Skeleton. We used to call this "sledding" This is a third generation of event. Bobsled begat luge which begat skeleton.
11. Luge. Sledding when laying on your back. Although the luge crashes can be quite exciting.
12. Ski Jumping. This is the ballsiest sport. Fly down a huge hill and jump as far as you can. There is an element of style points I believe that should be eliminated. But it is cool to watch.
13. Snowboarding. Puh-leese. No events where you can compete while drunk. This is a blanent attempt to draw in the "generation X" dollars.
14. Speed skating. Basically track on ice. Not very interesting to watch.

Ill be watching reruns of The Office for the next 2 weeks.

iTunes Sucks

So I know this guy, who downloads music from iTunes and then removes the encryption using some software.

Well it turns out that one day, this guy wanted to play a purchased song on his roommate's computer because it's connected to the stereo. Usually this guy is diligant and removes the encryption after purchasing his music, but this time he just couldn't wait, so he went ahead and played the song.

Well it turns out that his roommate's computer had iTunes v6 installed. It also turns out, that once you play a song in iTunes v6, you can no longer purchase any music in iTunes v5.

Well it turns out that the software can't decrypt songs purchased with iTunes v6, so now this guy can no longer buy music and remove the encryption. He'll have to burn his music to CD first, and then rip it. Which is total bullshit.

Oh, and one more thing - now this guy has to download and install iTunes on his work and home computer and deal with a 32meg download and a slow-as-shit install just so he can play music he already purchased.

Hoop Updates (LIVE)

New work is being done of the hoop. Here are my live updates:

Lunchtime - McRoberts is walking over to Dorn hardware during his lunch break to pick up some anchors. While he is gone, I tried to unscrew the top toggle-bolt and in in doing so, caused both toggles to deploy. So it looks like the top is secure now.

12:52PM - McRoberts returns with heavy-duty metal anchors. After widening the bottom hole a bit, he epoxies the hole and the anchor and inserts. We will wait several minutes before securing the hoop to allow ample time for the epoxy to harden.

1:20PM - The epoxy has hardened and we have secured all bolts & screws. Never has the hoop been stronger! While we're at it, Robbo and I decided to epoxy the missing hoop-link as well (to get rid of the ugly duck tape). We're currently letting that dry.

1:32PM - Everything's done. This could be the hoop's finest moment. Huge props to McRoberts for making this happen (the man purchased an anchor, brought in epoxy, and he isn't even a B-member). Let's play some basketball!

Razor Technology

Holy buckets!!! I just got a free sample of the latest development in razor technology. The Gillette Fusion. It has a 5 blade shaving surface and one precision trimmer. Man an I psyched to use this baby. The people at Gillette are really on the cutting edge.

The Eyes Have It

Big day tomorrow. Robbo has an eye test. He's going to be up all night studying for it.

Television

Ya know Im not really sure what days TV shows are on any more. Everything is on my TiVo. Watching TV with commercials is for sucks. Except for sports. You HAVE to watch sports live.

America trivia, tres

Gubber 16 (10/6)
Ogmo 9 (7/2)
Ron 4 (3/1)

Basketball Scores

Hoop Is Up.

(Although it's questionable how strong the anchors are...)

We each shot twenty balls from the door in rapid succession. Scores:
Robbo: 1, Ogmo: 5, Gubber: 4

Trivia, 3 man

Movies.
Gubber 15 (10/5)
Robbo 12 (9/3)
Ogmo 11 (9/2)

In Laws

Ok. The back story is that my wife and her mother don't really get along. So when we got married in 2000, the contact between them fell off. We didnt call back and didnt attend family functions. Like that. We just werent interested in have a relationship with them. And we'd thought we made that clear.

So last week a relative passed away. He was well liked by everyone. Just a great guy. So my wifes mother took that time to send an email trying to get her to call her father to get them talking again. Never mind that we've made it clear that we dont want to and that at the time we were mourning the death of this guy we both really liked.

Ok so I wrote the letter to them from my wife's perspective. I describe it as stern but not defaming. I didnt name call or anything like that. I just said that we dont hate them but it would be better if they didnt contact us any more. We are very happy with her life the way it is right now.

If her dad wanted to contact her that would be ok but please dont think the meeting will be a step toward "getting the family back together" That ship has sailed.

Oh I also put in there how she didnt think this was the proper time to bring this all up just when a family member had just passed away.

In the letter I didn't name call or engage in personal attacks.

Allow myself to quote myself:"Please know that I don't hate you and only hope the best for you."

And again:"I hope everything is going well in Florida and you are having a happy and healthy retirement."

I actually thought it was a pretty good letter. It let them know where we stand without resorting to name calling and stuff like that.

So her dad wrote an email back.

Now I will quote him:"Hate was oozing out of that E mail."

And again:"I always knew what you were about and it showed" (I still dont understand what this means)

Once more:SCREW YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON (caps NOT added by me. They were in the original)

And to top it all off, "Since your marriage you have not said two words to me. Remember thats the one I gave you $5.000. How about sending it back 2316 Lockwood loop Villages Fl.32162"

He closed with:"You are a hateful person"

Ladies and Gentlemen, My In-Laws!

I wrote out the check and sent it certified mail to him with a note that said"I trust that this will be the end of communications between us."

So thats the latest on the In-Law saga. Im thinking of scripting it up as Lifetime movie

Yo Mammy

This shit is just too funny to not blog. That is, if you think it's funny when African Americans have to withstand racial profiling and increased suspicion from police. Which I do, at least when they are drunk and say funny shit.

Listen to Yo Mammy

B Objects - Part III, State of the B

In the State of the B post, I made reference to two objects in the B: Brett Favre and the Library. In the third part of this series, I present with photos of these fine items:


They are precious.

In Laws

Let me know if anyone wants me to write up the latest in my In-Laws saga.

Syrup Showdown

A couple of days ago, Robbo, Bunny and I attended a Super Bowl Sunday Brunch. It turned out that there were 4 types of syrup at this waffle-eating event, and we decided to settle the age-old question, what's the best syrup?

The Syrups:
a) IGA (generic artificial syrup)
b) Vermont I (natural Vermont syrup from a store)
c) Roth's (natural Wisconsin syrup)
d) Vermont II (natural Vermont syrup from my parents' neighbor's trees)


We had 8 people testing the syrup (n = 8, single-blind) and each person ranked the syrups from 1 to 4 (1 = lowest, 4 = highest). At the end, the scores were tallied. Here are the results:

1. (d) Vermont II (28 points)
2. (c) Roth's (21 points)
3. (b) Vermont I (20 points)
4. (a) IGA (11 points)

My observations:

Even the most skeptical agreed that there were definitely differences between the syrups. The fake syrup was the clear loser, only receiving 1's and 2's (even from Robbo who supposedly prefers the fake stuff). The Vermont II was the clear winner, receiving only 3's and 4's. The Roth's and Vermont I were so closely matched that I'll call it a tie. I think more investigation is warrented in the Vermont vs. Wisconsin battle.

For those folks looking for the raw scores:

A	B	C	D
2	1	4	3
2	1	4	3
1	3	2	4
1	2	3	4
1	3	2	4
1	4	2	3
1	2	3	4
2	4	1	3
11	20	21	28

This was epic.

Fridge History

Since theres talk that the fridge might be ready to meet its demise I thought Id give a little history. I am the one who brought the fridge into the group. I inheirted it from a former officemate who was coincidentally named "Former" Former had a number of these smallish fridges. He got them from his dad. His dad owned bait shop and used the fridges to store bait. Worms, nightcrawlers etc.

Another week in the B

Another week int he B begins. Lets make is a good one. Highlights are scheduled to include:
Gubber's appearance on Wednesday
Possible hoop hangage
A couple of SpeedyMeetings (tm)
The B Book club will be meeting
A couple special guests are also scheduled

I hunger with anticipation....

The Hoop

The people have been requesting an update on the status of migrating the basketball hoop from the eastern to the western wall of the office. Early last week we had an engineering crew in here (Og) to remove the hoop. A thorough analysis was done of the existing wall mount and the screwage. The hoop was then completely disassembled, in preparation for its 15 foot journey to the other wall.

As of this writing, we are waiting on Og's report of the tools/hardware necessary to complete the transition. The production date for the hoop has been pushed back, yet again, much like uProtal. Zing!!!

Foam Soap

So if you've been at a restaurant or bar lately and visited the facilities you may have noticed a new type of soap they have in the dispenser. When you press the button or level you get a handful of this foamy stuff. Im not exactly sure what prompted the change but Im guessing its somehow cheaper.

My problem is when you foam up, say in your right hand, then you put your hands together in your normal hand cleaning motion, theres a good chance that this will be too fast for the foam and the pressure will result in the foam squirting out of your hands. The squirt usually lands on your pants. And most of the time right in the crotchal area. So now it looks like you didnt make it or didnt shake enough or something. People then assume youre a complete idiot.

But at least your hands are clean.

Headache

Ive been up since 3:30am with a splitting headache. I took 2 tylenol and 2 advil to try to take the edge off. Is it ok to mix those? Not sure how much work ill get done today cause it hurts to look at the screen.

Lunch Choices

There are any number of potential lunch destinations near the B. I will group them

Group 1. Common destinations. Maybe once a week
Gum Seng
Rockys
Taco Johns
Bring lunch from home
Subway

Group 2. Maybe once a month
The noodle place on Regent
Cousins

Group 3. Potentially a couple times a year.
Stadium Bar.
Silver Nickel Pizza
The Kebab Place

Group 4. Never under any circumstance
Union South

More 3 man trivia

Movies
Gubs 16 ( 2 steals)
Ogmo 9 (3)
Ron 8 (3)

America
Ron 12 (3)
Gubs 10 (4)
Ogmo 8 (4)

Thats Ron's first win! BIG! sat in on part of the America matchup and swept up 6.

State of the B

B associates, advocates, and allies:

As we look back over the year, there have been many significant developments in the B. Unfortunately, we lost a member of the B, Bunny, but it is in his memory that we preserve the core values of the B: a life devoted to service and honor, and even more importantly, general rambunctiousness and tomfoolery.

It was also in this past year that we undertook a major office reorganization. While a tumultuous time, every one of us can be proud of the result: more space for stretching, better visibility of the door, and equal window access for all.

In domestic issues, this year more than ever, we have filled the B with more trinkets and distractions. By more than doubling the number of plants in the office, we have made great strides with the environment. A new Brett Favre photo promotes the integrity that can only come from a professional athlete; and of course we cannot forget the new library that is lit up and welcomes all.

Gentlemen, we are happy to report, that the state of the B is strong.

This upcoming year could be characterized as a building year. We will start with an aggressive push to get the hoop up and operational again. With a possible health epidemic arising from the Gum, the B can no longer neglect our physical needs. Also, a happy B is a productive B.

It's also time we invest in ourselves and our future. With raises and reclassifications for the B, we will inspire new discussions on investments and the stock market. While we cannot garauntee any return on the investment, this will add to the long-term value of B members. This initiative is long overdue.

As always, there will be a dedicated effort to update technology in the B. Faster computers, larger monitors are all absolutely necessary for our continued long-term health, and we expect strong support from our primary advocate (BIG!) in this area.

Unfortunately, with the projected departure of Ogmo, there may be some turmoil in the B. But Robbo and Gubber have proven themselves time and again to be resilient in the face of change. We are confident they will either find a new member who is worthy of the B, or remove Ogmo's desk and reinstitute the Bennis court.

We thank you all for your support of the B from the past year and we are fully expecting another prosperous year.

Im in the B...

Im in the B and it feels great! When you're not in the B for a week and then you enter it, you still get that giddy feeling like the first time you come in.

Im a little disappointed about the lack of a properly installed hoop though.

Ogmo

So Ogmo is talking about departing the B. People live their lives waiting to get into the B and Ogmo is talking about leaving. I think Tessmer actually maimed 2 people because they were ahead of him in the B line. Im talking about permanent injury. Those people will never whistle again.

Anyway we realize that eventually Ogmo might leave the B. And we want him to have the best chance out in the harsh harsh real world. Frankly I think its crazy talk, but I will do anything I can to help him.

I realize that the soft spot on Ogmo's resume is supervisory experience. Specifically supervising full time employees. Sure he can boss a student around but can he hold his own with an employee who has been around longer than him.

So in order to help the Ogmo, I volunteer to be his ward. When Im through with him he will be able to honestly claim that he supervised a 15 year senior level employee who has been knee deep in technology since before he was born.

There of course will be ground rules.

1. The first name basis we live under in the B will continue. I will not call him Mr. Kent. I may call him Clark but as that is a quite obvious nickname I probably will stick with Ogmo unless im filing some type of complaint against him.

2. For B purposes I am still the senior member.

3. Any demands Ogmo puts on me will be taken as advisory only. If they are truly good ideas they will stand on their own merit.

4. I will be allowed to complain to Ogmo about any of the following: working conditions, salary, vacation, projects, customers, my desire for advancement, local sports teams, parking, my boss, officemates (although this one isnt a problem), lack of computing resources and anything else that can be somehow connected to work including the price of gas. And he HAS to listen and commiserate. Thats what supervisors do.

5. When I ask him questions he has to answer them. When I dont like the answer he has to not get mad when I go ask Busby.

6. He has to keep alert for my schedule and when I have time opening up to take on new projects. He must be ready to take over the projects when I decide that I was wrong and I dont have the time.

7. He has to be my administrative backup on all projects past and present. Including the ones that nobody is really paying attention to and the customers are just using the website. And we're all hoping they never want any upgrades or anything cause we dont remember anything about the project in the first place.

8. He will be available to go to meetings in my place in the event that I am not able to attend for any reason including if I just dont want to go or if I just opened a breakfast bar and I want to finish it.

9. He will be at his desk before me and remain after I leave.

10. He will wear uncomfortable shoes while at work while I recline in any sort of shoes, boots, slippers or sandles that I can fit my feet into.

Thats the Ogmo Bill of Rights. We will of course add new amendments as they come up.

Im happy to be on board!

Greatest B Moments

A few just came to mind, had to blog them:

1. The aforementioned dodge ball games. However, one time in particular I remember checking my IM client after a game. BIG! had written "JESUS CHRIST, STOP THAT SHIT!!!!" Good times.

2. Bennis. In particular, the Bennis scoreboard system we had set up. Possibly the all time greatest thing we ever did.

3. The rescue of Bubb Rubb the goldfish.

4. The pre-Bennis basketball games. Horse, Around the World, etc, and the marker board that was covered in checkmarks from the games we had played. Good thing our office never got audited during those times.

My first woot!

I just purchased my first woot. SOme TV poker games. Im gonna practice and then go to Vegas and clean up!
http://www.woot.com/

Dodge Ball

Remember when we played dodge ball in the B. That was nuts. Probably the stupidest thing we've done.

I remember using the backpacks are shields. Hiding behind desks and stuff. I miss dodgeball in the B.

B Objects - Part II, Trinkets

This is what I see when I look up to the right. On top of my shelving system there are a handful of toys/objects which I confess I don't know the history of. I believe they have been donated (or on permanent loan) to the B from current and previous members.

Robbo Ramblings

Sometimes when we're just hanging in the B, Robbo will randomly mutter my name (or a derivation of my name). Today it was:

"Scrogden... scrognut... scrognutterson."

New Week in the B

Its a new week in the B. Big plans are on tap. Events include trivia, meetings, a host of work, several instances of lunch and general merriment. Im really looking forward to it.

Friday Night Bloggin!

10pm. I have an awesome new idea. Someone should blog for like three days straight. Every 30 minutes they have to have a new post. The descent into madness would be captivating.

B Objects - Part I, The Fish

This is Part I in what I forsee as an ongoing series dedicated to the various objects in our office. The most obvious item in the huge clown fish hanging in the window which was given to Robbo by former B-member, Bunny. Here's to you Bunster.

Og-Den

Ogden Kent doesn't want us posting his name here because he's afraid it might interfere with his google results. That's what Ogden Kent says, I don't know about you, but I think Ogden Kent shouldn't worry about it. Ogden Kent is a good guy though, and I like having him in the B very much. Oh Ogden. Just to clarify, Ogden is his first name, Kent being his last, so it should come out like "Ogden" and then "Kent"...as in Ogden Kent.

Hey Ron!

So someone just emails me and calls me Ron. Whatever. But it made me think of all of the times people have called us something other than our real names. Some of the good ones:

1. Kent Ogden
2. Brain Busky
3. Ron

I'm sure there are others.

Two visitors in one day!

Tessie and I just grabbed lunch at Nam's. I ordered the spring roll appetizer & vermicelli and Tessie had the curry chicken & calamari appetizer (which was incredibly tender and delicious, highly recommended!).

Appetite Pwned.

Editor

I just went back and read the old posts. Man I need an editor. For a guy who pretty much sits around all day on his computer, I sure can't type very well. The fact that my wife, the English teacher, can type like a thousand words a minute doesnt help. Im just assuming youll get the gist of everything despite my spelling ewrrors, non verb tense agreement (no idea what that means), typoes typos, and sentences where I being and then forget what I was talking about and then begin another topic right in the middle without stopping the sentence with some sort of punctuation like a comma or semicolon or even a conjunction (and, but and or, they'll get you pretty far) . Ok where was I.....

Visit from a B advocate

The B was just visited by one of our favorite advocates, Mr. Penpek, who hails from the pre-split days of our group!

About one year ago, half of our group moved out of our building to another location. We rarely see them and our interactions have become few and far between, but it is always a joyfull occasion when one of our departed comrades comes in for a visit.

Penpek is currently in training with Robbo, so we may see him every two weeks. Exciting stuff.

The Perfect Sport

College Basketball is the perfect sport. Consider...There is really 4 distinct parts to the season. Performing well in any one of them and holding your own in the others will get you into the fourth, the Tourney.

Part 1. Nov through Dec. This is non-conference play. You schedule up some cupcakes and maybe a couple tough home games. What you want to do here is go about 12-2. With that non-conf record, you can hit 8-8 or so in your conference play and still be a 20 win team which will pretty much always get you dancing if you're a BCS conf team.

Part 2. Ok so maybe part 1 didn't go so well. You ended up with a couple tough games on the road and maybe lost one at home. So you're now at .500. Now you're looking at the conference schedule to redeem yourself. Of its tougher than part 1, but if you perform well, say 10-6 with maybe a big marquee win on the road, youre still looking at maybe a 18-10 record. On the bubble but a definate chance to make it.

Part 3. Ok you blew the non conf schedule. You had some early conf season injurys and only put up 6 wins there. But you won 4 or your last 5 and are on a roll. You have no chance at an at large but you do have the conference tourney as your final gasp of hope.

So you have 3 distinct ways to get to the tourney.

Ahhhh the tourney.....It is the perfect sporting event. 3 weeks of non-stop action. (well it stops on mon-wed, but you spend those entire days talking about the action)

Hoop

Hows that hoop relocation coming along?

Trivia, 3 man

American Trivia
Ogmo 15
Gubber 12
Robbo 10

Keep it in the family

Ogmo and Gubber are related

Peter Thacher		Peter Thacher
Thomas Thacher	Brothers	Anthony Thacher
Rudolphus Thacher	Cousins	John Thacher
Peter Thacher	2nd Cousins	Ann Thacher
John Thacher	3rd Cousins	Lydia Lathrop
Peter Thacher	4th Cousins	Roxanna Delano
Thomas Thacher	5th Cousins	Luther Hatch
Sherman Day Thacher	6th Cousins	George Hatch
Elizabeth Thacher	7th Cousins	May Hatch
Sherman Kent	8th Cousins	May Shaw
Sherman Kent	9th Cousins	Lois Beckman
Ogden Kent	10th Cousins	Pam Dittman
	10th Cousins once removed	Jeff Crucius

Terminology

Here's a list of some B terminology:

Ga (exclamation) - It can mean kind of anything you want it to mean. It takes it's meaning from the context it's used in. For the most part, it's usually it's own sentence (e.g. Hey!, See Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.)

Sweet Action (noun) - Something excellent. e.g.
"Check out my new monitor."
"That's some sweet action."

Fish with Hat (noun/old school) - When an error occurs and the cause can not be determined.

Teh Dominator (noun) - The dominator.

That's what she said (exclamation) - Most recently used while discussing hoop placement:
"But look at the size of that hole!"
"That's what she said!!"

If it was up your ass you'd know (exclamation) - A humiliating response to any location-related question. (derivation: ex-B member Bunny) e.g.
"Where are my keys?"
"If it was up your ass you'd know!"

Hoop Down!

The hoop is down. Robbo will be bringing in the drill in the next day or so and reinstallation will being on pillar that holds up the west side of the building. Toggle bolts and heavy duty screws will be used. Current B configuration does not permit Bennis play.

Comment

Robbo was heard to utter the comment "sucking Ogden's balls". He claims he said "socking Ogden's balls" and thats probably what he did actually say but its more fun to think he said the first one.

3 man movie trivia

Gubber 19 (10 hits and 9 steals)
Robbo 10 (7 and 3)
Ogmo 7 (7 and 0)

The highlight. It was Ogmo's turn. He has some impossible question about a moive from the 30s. The answer to the previous question of Og's was Bette Davis. So Robbo jokingly says "Say Bette Daivs" Ogmo of course says "Bette Davis" and the answer to the question was you guessed it, Bette Davis. Og then wanted to know if she was hot.

Stop Sign Shadow

So I just made a fool out of myself by claiming there was a huge stop-sign shadow being projected up onto the side of the CompSci building. While for a moment I did consider the implications of that statement (i.e. the sun must be below ground level to project a 40-foot shadow 100 feet in the air) it obviously didn't overwhelm my sense of awe. It should have.

Upon further analysis (or more acurately after being humiliated by Gubber, Robber and BIG!), I realize the shadow is from the satellite equipment upon the Atmospheric & Oceanic Sciences building.

It still looks cool.

Food and how to eat it

Ok say you have a meal that consists of many different items. Some of the items are very very good while some are somewhat bland and uninteresting. Basically filler. How do you go about eating.

Do you scarf down the good tasting stuff then just round out the meal with the filler.

Do you have some of the filler to get over the scarfing hunger satiation point so you can then take your time on the good stuff knowing theres a risk of overdoing the filler and potentially not maximizing your good food experience?

Do you mix up the bites?

Do you mix it all together in an attempt to form some a pile of better that average tasting glop?

Back at my desk

Marverlous Mike Layde dipped into his bag of computer magic and fixed my computer. So Im back up and running in the B. Its good to be back.

Chili in a box results

I was generally happy with the results of the chili in a box. The portion was a bit lacking for my tastes but the taste was as expected for food that comes in a box. I recommend the product but only if you have a coupon.

Im in the server closet

So I come into work this moring. Well first of all I forgot my key so I had to hunt around for a non-Ber to get me into my office. Luckily I found a person in a nearby office who recognized me and let me in. Thats a potential danger of working from home. People tend to not recognize you so when you ask access to a secure area they look at you funny. But anyway I got in.
So i boot up the gubber machine. The login script runs as normal. I do notice that the machine is slightly slower but I figure thats probably because of some sort of "software upgrade" reason. So I fire up my email and netwrok shares and am happily on my way, making the world a better place to compute.

Then wihtout warning my screen goes blue followed closely by me muttering "oh shit". I rebooted that sucker maybe 4 times and it got progressively worse. I dont even get the Windows startup logo now. Id have to say its effed. So now Im in the server closet working on seeker. While im being productive, the real reason I came in today was to be in the B and now I cant.

Tallest person ever in the B

Who is the tallest person ever in the B? Is it Big Mike Tessmer? Has Derrian Jones ever been in the B? We may need a comprehensive list of all people ever in the B. We'll start by making people sign in.

The Hoop

This is a reminder to all B-members that the basketball hoop needs to be transfered to the west wall. I believe Robbo is responsible for bringing in the drilling device. Gubber and I will supervise.

Chili in a box

For lunch I heated up some of this chili in a box from the good people at Stagg. It tasted quite good but the real test will come in about an hour and a half.

Gear up for tomorrow!

I plan on being in the B tomorrow. So get the meetings scheduled. We have alot to go over.

Kittens

Because it's not really a blog until you get the useless post with a random link in it.

The 2006 George W. Bush Dead Kitten Survey

I now declare this to be an official blog.

P.S. I got a little political there... Is that okay?

5 second rule

I was just eating some of those cheese nip crackers that have the peanut butter between them Well I accidentally dropeed one of them. I quickly dove for the fallen morsel and picked up within the alloted 5 seconds and then ate it.

Note: The 5 second rule does NOT apply is you drop something in the toilet.

Worst Badger Sports Weekend Ever

We just got past the worst Badger sports weekend ever. Not only did we lose games, we lost players.

It all started on Tuesday when we got word that 2 hoops players, Stiemsma and Landry,were out indefinately. Then we went out and lost to Ohio State. The same day we found put that Hobey Baker frontrunning Brian Elliot, our #1 Ranked Hockey teams goalie, was out for 3-4 weeks.

The hockey teeam proceeded to lose 1-0 on Friday when they had a chance to pretty much end Denvers quest for the league championship. The basketball team them fell to North Dakota State in what is being called the biggest upset in college basketball this season. Bigger that Markette over UConn. Hockey wrapped everything up with a 4-2 loss to Denver on friday.

Both teams are reeling. Hoops is home vs Penn State on Wed and at Mich next Sat. Hockey is at home vs Minn on Fri and Sat.

We're in need of some serious bounce back.

B-meritus

So who are the b-meritus members of the B?

Thats a toughie. Memories fade. I believe there are 3

Guy (charter B'er)
Bunny
Jeffers

Was Big Mike Tessmer even a member of the B? I dont think so. He is part of the cult of the B however.

Lots of follow up needed here. Bios of the former B's, delving into the cult of the B, Tessmer in general.

Work

Ok so the better you get at some task the easier it becomes for you. Also the better you become at some task, the more someone will pay you to do it. So in effect we get paid more for doing easier things.

So how can I get paid for eating potato chips?

Skiing is Gay

I get to use "gay" as an adjective for something lame once a month. The B is not homophobic. The B embraces our innate homosexuality.

Ski Weekend

So I'm about to head way up North (the U.P. to be exact) to enjoy a ski weekend. Just as a taste of what's to come, check out this sweet action:


1) Yes, that's me and I'm awesome.
2) Yes, those are cross-country skis (I am that good).
3) No, my face is not normally that blurry. It has been obscured to protect my identity.

The B Blog

Had a 3 man Trivia last Wed.
Results
Movies
Gubber 20
Robbo 12
Ogmo 4

Music
Gubber 6
Ogmo 5
Robbo 3

Music just kicked our ass.

Driving and Muscle Memory

Does one of these things ever happen to you when driving:

1. You reach for the shifter on the steering column when your shifter is between the bucket seats. This happens even though you got rid of your steering column shiftinh car over 20 years ago.

I did this today and felt like a complete ass.

2. Along the same vein, even though you have an automatic transmission and havent driven a stick in years, you slam your left foot to the floor as if trying to depress the clutch.

NFL Draft

I propose separating the NFL draft into 2 parts. Part 1 will be offensive players, part 2 is defensive players. Kickers are on offense, punters on D.

The teams draft opposite in the drafts. So if the team has the first O pick they get the last D pick.

The team with the worst record gets to pick which slot they want.

So this year Houston can take the first O pick and last D pick if they want.

I woud ike this implemented for this years draft.

Oggie's Toesies

What Og failed to mention is the fact that his feet offer a putrid aroma and therefore he must hide them in his fur-laden slippers. Where is the picture of Oggie's cracked feet from last summer? Nasty.

B Footwear (Slippers)

After having requested and received a new pair of slippers for x-mas, I have decided to dedicate a blog post to them as they have become my standard B footwear. The model is the Acorn Mens Sheep-On, size Medium. I'm sure you'll notice in the image the easy slip-on styling but you may not realize that it also posseses a "weatherproof outsole with skid resistant tread for sure footing". For me, that means I can use them in the hallway, bathroom, and yes, meetings.

I'm sure most of you have never experienced a meeting while wearing slippers, but let me tell you, it is certainly pleasant.

Motto

"Im gonna be 40 in 3 weeks. The last thing I want to do is be learning."

--Gubber when told he should learn .NET

The B? WTF?

Ok the B is our office. There are 3 current members in good standing of the B.

Gubber - The longest serving member and only member of the B who has been in the B since its inception. Although he only Bs once a week (currently on Wednesdays) his aura is always felt as well as smelt. Gubbers are is in the northern third of the B. Its a simple and understanded area with only a desk, chair and file cabinet. There is also a non-functional lamp perched on his computer.

Robbo - The second longest serving member of the B, Robbo occupies the southern third of the B. His area is notable for numerous plants which he is in the process of killing and a large hanging Nemo. He has a hutch and computer table as well as another table in the southwest corner to hold the plants.

Og- The newbie of the group, Og occupies the middle or "bitch" seciton of the B. Og has a desk and hutch in his third as well as serving as the storage facility for our shared guest chair. At Ogs back is a divider which although is actually part of Robbos desk, serves as Og's bulliten board.

Above the whole office is a vast grid of holiday lights. Its freakin festive year round in the B.

Previous Trivia Results

By popular demand heres the previous trivia results

1/11
Movies
Gubber 14
Og 7

Music
Gubber 12
Og
5

America
Gubber 10
Og 6


1/4
America
Gubber 6
Og 5

Music
Gubber 11
Og 4

Movies
Gubber 13
Og 5

Todays Trivia Results

Og and Gubber played the Trivia at lunch today with Buzzer in attendance to steal. The results were:
America
Gubber 11
Og 9

Movies
Gubber 11
Og 10
Og had a 4-0 lead here but wilted at the end.

Music
Og 9
Gubber 8
Gubber missed Milli Vanilli in round 19 to open the door to Ogs first win.

We are the B

The B is where we live during the work day. On the rare occasions when something interesting happens in the B, one of the 3 B'ers will take time to record the event here.